|Dik's Infection (the beer one)
This whole fiasco started when Dik thought he smelled something funny in the house. Given the squalor he lives in, it was hard to narrow down exactly where that foul smell was coming from. He decided to ignore it and hope it would just go away.
He began to suspect something when Pete, who had drank some beer from the last batch, began to convulse at work the next day. Dik had suspected that perhaps the beer was infected and this seemed to confirm that. But how!!??
|After Pete got out of the hospital, Dik came to the devastating conclusion
that yes, in fact, the beer had contracted something wicked!
The only morally correct thing to do was dump it down the driveway and hope it would flow into the neighbor's yard. Despite this compelling argument, it was only after the threat of litigation that the decision was made to dump the beer. Numerous watering down and doctoring schemes had to be abandoned
|Not even the company of his loving dog can console Dik in this desperate and touching moment.
|Materials for fifty gallons of beer:
Value of almost getting a picture of Dik slipping in beer and almost
breaking his leg while trying to keep his dog from drinking it out of the
|Locking on to the fear in his pet's eyes, Dik immediately begins a witchhunt for the source of infection; believing the dogs to be responsible at some level. Despite his own questionable hygiene practices, he is convinced that something with 4 legs is the cause.
|An immediate hygiene sweep is initiated. The first task is brushing everyone's teeth with the carboy cleaning brush.
|The cleaning moves on to other orifices.
|The dogs having been cleaned, Dik moves inside to continue his quest to find the source of his (beer) disease. After removing the dirty laundry from the living room floor, Dik discovers a pile of what looks to be vomit. Intensive questioning of both dogs reveals no further clues.
|Reluctant to admit that perhaps the dogs aren't the source, he begins
to examine himself for gaps in sanitation.
Almost immediately, he discovers his shoe is covered in dog crap. Nothing a quick scrub at the sink can't fix. (Note that this is the same brush used to scrub dishes.)
|He never did find the source of that nasty infection and is stumped
as to how something that bad could have happened. Did you see any
clues that may have pointed to the source?
Dik could really use some help on this hygiene thing so if you have any tips for him, please email him.
Current or future girlfriend
of Dik? Please note that he does have some redeeming qualities.
We'll post them when we find out what they are.